FORBIDDEN LOVE SERIES (Second Story)

The most beautiful smile I ever saw was in that dingy busy lane with hordes of people walking by. There she stood by the shop peeping within the window. She tossed her head and her eyes settles on me. She bowed slightly looking at me and gave the same magical graceful smile. I was awestruck. The whole lane froze over for me. Nothing moved except her dissatisfied face and slow walk. I stood there transfixed until she disappeared in the crowd. It was then that the world started moving again and I jumped out of the chariot and ran towards her direction seeking for her. But she was gone, nowhere to be found. My face fell. I was getting late. I had to attend the meeting with the clans.

                All on the way I kept wondering about her. She might have been dissatisfied looking at my flat expression. She wouldn't have guessed I was lost in her.

                I entered the castle for the conference. Indeed royal it was in this princely state! With that image in my head I entered the banquet hall and was flabbergasted to find the sheer disrespect casted upon women.

                There she was! The girl who had frozen me with her smile...standing naked! What a heinous act! I walked towards her slowly. She looked at me helplessly with tears streaming across her face and cried out, “Paris, Save me!”

                And, that started the legendary infamous Trojan war between Greece and Sparta! She was Helen of Troy!

FORBIDDEN LOVE SERIES (First Story)

(First Story)

He turned the key in the lock and opened the door. To his horror he saw that lady sitting there. It was for her he had fled away and had come here all the way from downtown. But, it was too late now. She had found him once again and there was no point running away this time. He had met her on the fateful morning of 24th March. It was love at first sight. The courtship lasted for a month before he was woken up to the disturbing memory of his calling.

He loved her truly and irrevocably. But, he had to leave her. He was not destined for this. And, since then he was hiding from her. But, love makes people do crazy things. She had found him this time too. Sitting on the bed, she looked up at him tearfully with helplessness and pleads in her eyes. They both were tired of running now. He smiled at her with pain and hatred for his actions reflected in his eyes. His time was up and he had to do this or bear heavy consequences.

“Forgive me,” was all what he said and collapsed on the floor. Pain ripping apart his body, he screamed a heavenly shrill. His backbone gave way and out came an enormous black wing unfurling itself. He stood there with radiating skin and a robe flowing through his body.

She looked stunned. He stood there looking at her with pain and sadness in his eyes since he had to do it even when he didn't want to do it. But her death kept following him while she thought it was her love! Angels of death were not supposed to fall in love with their own victims… And there with a flash of light he marked her and took her soul away!

 

What A Queer Incident - Last Part

Sorry for the long haul before the last part of this article, friends. It was because of my never ending assignments and exams!

            I couldn’t make out anything for a second when I looked up. It was only seconds later I realized that more than half the earlier-hopeful crowd was crying and hurrying out of the venue as many weren’t open to their families and didn’t want to be seen on TV. There was an outcry of fury, helplessness and crushed, squashed justice. I could sense their distraught agitation and it was heartrending that I had undermined the outcome of a negative judgment which denied them their basic identification!

            Emma was nowhere to be seen among the now fewer crowd. But their painful faces reminded me of those days, when Emma used to come to classes with hollow eyes, beaten up face and bruises on her hands! We (me and my then girlfriend) knew she had to face another humiliating ordeal with her father who thought beating up, screaming at her and scaring her was the solution to turn her ‘straight’. He had found out about her orientation after reading her diary like any privacy-hating parents do. What he didn’t know was after each ordeal Emma had to go through, her hopes, innocence and soul was dying out slowly like a silent scream. We knew the tormenting war waging within her and I used to wonder if her screaming soul would give up on life one day and end it altogether! But, apart from consoling there wasn’t much we could do as it would have been ‘interference’ in her family problem and being a ‘bad influence on her’ which would have only made things worse for her. Since when was an individual’s personal orientation a family problem? Families may take time to come to terms with it and so would India; but I only hoped not at the cost of degrading a human soul, its ambition, dreams and laughter or forcing them into a marriage to ‘hide their orientation’!

            Anyway, I had to find out where Emma had gone from Azad Maidan so I tried calling her and turned around to exit when I saw her lesbian best friend Ananya. Ananya informed me that Emma had left for CST station. Emma had met Ananya a year later after we had met in the classes. Her friendship with a ‘girl’ only worsened her relationship with her father. He wouldn’t believe that two lesbians can only be platonic friends. Does every straight person only think of sleeping the moment they see anybody from the opposite sex?

            I still remember that evening vividly when Emma was sitting by the seat in the park, waiting for me, and weeping bitterly. When I did come she hugged me and started murmuring incoherently between her sobs. My heart quivered with pity for her but I knew how much she loathed sympathy, so I focused on calming her down. It was only after pacifying her that I understood her father had asked her to move out of the house or cut all ties with Ananya. He just couldn’t broaden his horizon from the narrow mindset that homosexuality can go beyond sex and has love and friendship just like heterosexuality. So, she was forced to turn stranger to people of her own kind out of her love for her father. I had never felt so horrible for her. Maybe nature felt the same because the very next day the savior 2009 judgment of Delhi high court decriminalized homosexuality; and with that the mindset, ‘Ab toh India main bhi legal ho gaya’ saved a lot of queer lives, hers being the one. Her father started making attempts to understand the whole concept of homosexuality and loosened his house arrest on Emma. He had finally started believing that ‘Emma is not bad, wrong or a criminal just because she is a lesbian’.

            I reached CST station and she was nowhere to be found. I could recognize another lesbian friend of hers who was forced for marriage as a ‘cure’ to her lesbianism. That’s the grim reality in India. People are either forced or themselves voluntarily marry to hide their orientation. But like Emma, the 2009 verdict gave this girl the right to exercise her freedom and she avoided marriage.

I left for McDonalds outside CST station when this girl informed me that Emma went there. I was tired searching for her and she never answered her call when she was upset. I knew this new judgment by SC went deeper. People from the queer community would be extorted for money by conmen or women posing as probable dates, police harassment would increase and people will shy away from HIV tests and other STDs. They would suffer silently fearing a homophobic doctor might clue in the cops about them. How many gay rapes have we heard of? Hardly any, isn’t it? That’s only because of the attitude that a man cannot be raped and if he is, then he is not a man enough. Such insolence would only make fewer gay rapes come out as the person who was raped may also be accused of ‘encouraging’. Also we all know the obvious - forced marriages by people, voluntarily pushing themselves back to the closet, crushing all their hopes and dreams; marital rape by frustrated gays trying to be heterosexual or, by heterosexual husbands who are put off by their lesbian wives, are just few of the things that would happen. Living a life of pain, suffering and forced guilt trip was the only option the SC court left one of its largest minorities with! Is it right for the SC to dismiss saying its just 13 percent? Even 5 percent of the total population is 6.5 crores according to 2011 census!

I remember a friend asking me in suspicion how did I know so much hinting that probably I might be queer too. I replied saying that’s because I wasn’t illiterate and ignorant like him! That was a hard blow for him. This is how narrow minded homophobes look at even the supporters! Don’t hate what you can’t understand. You need only let them go!

            I had reached McDonalds and was standing right in front of her. There she was, sitting crest-fallen like a poor girl who had lost everything, leaning onto the compounds of McDonalds; staring at her dad’s picture on her phone. I exactly knew what she was feeling- she was scared things might change for the worse between her and her dad after the judgment.

“Emma,” I called out to her. She looked up, tear lashed and her eyes filled with recognition at my voice.

“You came,” she sobbed.

“How could I not?”

There was a silent pause which seemed very long and then she flung herself onto me and broke down. It was so painful and heart quenching to see her that way. For me and probably for most of the straight supporters and even homophobes, it was just a judgment. But, for Emma and thousands of innocent, soft natured, powerless, working class queers from her community, IT was EVERYTHING that could have changed their lives! I had most certainly underestimated such reactions, and this was just the start! I was only hoping the repercussions shouldn’t get worse in the coming days!

            “It was for nothing I had battled all these years ya. It’s all over.”

“It’s just started Emma, and we will fight it out.”
            “How long more?”

“Until it ends!”

I only had one thing to ask after all this- is it right to pass such regressive judgments just because it doesn’t suit our mindset?

THANK YOU

What A Queer Incident (Part 2)

It was taking forever to reach Azad Maidan. I wondered if ants would race us and go ahead too at one point! "Uncle, can we go faster? I am getting late?" I said irritation apparent in my tone.

            "Arre, how fast? (Yeah right) Don't you see the traffic? (almost empty roads!) If I drive any faster, we would only meet with an accident," he said and continued mumbling in a rough tone with a hurt ego. There was no point arguing with him because if this was fast for him then probably anything more than this would be next to flying!

            Suddenly, it dawned on me that I couldn't have blamed him either. He was paralyzed by his fear and prejudice. We all are pulled down with some fear and prejudice and it’s always hard to break free from the shackles of such emotions in which we build our comfort zone. Three years back, I had my qualms about people being homosexual, after a certain point too!

            "Why do you ask when you know everything?" Emma (my lesbian best friend) asked, on that sunny afternoon after our class, hurt clearly apparent in her miffed voice.

            I seriously didn't know what wrong had I done this time! It seems I had passed one of my anti-homosexual remarks!

            "Listen Emma, I think you are over reacting. I didn't even know if it was an anti-gay remark,” I justified.

            "Wow, over reacting? Look at him! Men are such insensitive jerks," she yelled with tears starting to well up in her sweet doe-eyes. I turned looked at my girlfriend for her support. But she was nodding silently in agreement with Emma too, giving me a dirty look which was enough to make me feel like I was standing nude in front of them.

            Now I know why angry girlfriends and distraught wives accuse their counterparts to be insensitive jerks! It was so hard for me to understand! Apart from my stupid secret fetish of seeing two girls making out in front of me, I didn't know what homosexuality was then, to be honest!

            "Listen Emma, I am really very sorry. You know I would never say anything intentionally in a million years to hurt you. It was for others, not intended towards you. So, how does it matter," I pleaded guilty with her.

            "It matters. That's my community and that's who I am. You make all those statements today, I am sure tomorrow you will bully and break friendship if a guy friend in your circle turns out to be gay! You still don't know what it means to survive in a homophobic society. Being a homosexual is not a lifestyle choice, its an orientation!"

            

           She was right. i didn't know homosexuality was biological. But even with all the lack of knowledge, I might have just maintained a distance, breaking friendship or crushing someone's emotions and confidence by bullying? Never in a lifetime! My upbringing wasn't so cheap!

"Hey hey, don't cry. It makes me feel terrible (they exactly knew when to leave the tear bags open and flowing! This is where i always used to lose with my girlfriend too). I promise I would go and do the much needed research about this. I agree I have not been the best to deal with this even though I played all cool about it initially," I tried pacifying her, pouring my heart out. I was shocked, to be honest, how sensitive could this be to all my fellow homosexuals. I really needed to get my facts straight.

            "OK, I will help him in it Emma. He really is trying,"” and continued commanding me "until then, whenever you get a stank eye look from me, you know you need to shut up instantly, before you get the feeling that you are standing nude in front of us, which I don't think would be a bad idea either," my girlfriend said with a naughty smile curling up on her lips, in the last few words! Even Emma had a feeble smile (phew).

  What would men do if there weren't girls? I correct it- what would people do if they didn't have partners of either sex?

            Over the next few weeks me and my girlfriend researched about homosexuality, sometimes even without clothes (ok, that's a lie. We were 15 and shit scared of the 'virginity clause'). She took it on herself the sweat breaking task of getting the smallest detail she could lay her hands on. Really smart girl! It was only then that i got to know that even Massachusetts and Canada University of Psychology had removed homosexuality from the list of disorders. It was no more considered a 'disorder'. That's why the term orientation (biological inclination) was introduced!

The cab stopped with a jerk waking me up from my slumber thoughts. It had reached me to Azad Maidan. There was a party after the verdict on section 377, if it was positive (in our favor). But, we knew it would be decriminalized, anyway. After all, India was getting over its homophobia as i had. We were to celebrate the landmark judgment but before that I knew I had to face 'The Emma Monster' of why-were-you-late. I got down preparing myself for the best excuse, as it took me twenty minutes to reach Azad Maidan from my college would be 'bullshit, I hate lies,' for Emma. Just then my cell buzzed. It was a message. I paid the cabbie and checked my cell. It read-

We lost it ya. The verdict is negative! After all these years! It’s all over.

  I was bewildered! I looked up from my phone, at the crowd in Azad Maidan, in search of her.

-TO BE CONTINUED-

What A Queer Incident..!!

     This is my first article and I always wanted to project a bold, fresh perspective on things even if it garnered criticisms and remarks like ‘it’s the new age youth’s thinking’, ‘carefree attitude’ or ‘recklessness and western outlook’. However, according to me it is nothing but a rationally logical and liberal thinking. Here goes my article on the recent section 377 that caught furor like a rolling ball of fire!



     It was the infamous 11th December 2013 (11-12-13), when section 377 was re-instated! I was stuck in FC lecture and ma’am was babbling on ‘Human Rights’. How ironical!

     Hearing the word ‘human rights’ my mind had drifted off to another boring lecture, another sleep controlling hard attempts at staying awake, another dimly lit class on the second floor of my classes some years back. The class was stacked full with budding yet naive 15 year olds. Very soon, their pheromones and testosterones would be all over the place getting the better of their emotions! There, sitting beside me across the aisle, was this hep girl (like any other girl of her age), who was least interested and staring at every possible nook and cranny of the class! To be honest, I was a little conscious thinking she might check me out too in one of her ‘nook and cranny endeavors’ and I wanted to sit in the right position to come across with the ‘hunky and manly’ appeal yet peak at her now and then without her notice! Who doesn't do that at that age?

     The teacher’s tormenting babble was over and we were given a short break. I knew I had to talk to her now before she gets up and goes. “Hi,” I said.

“Hi,” she replied.

“I know you are a lesbian,” I said with an unquivering voice and smile on my face to come across as confident, though I thought I would be replied with a slap!

“What?” she roared.

“I said I know you are a lesbian,” I repeated again. Like this was any easier for me! I shouldn't have been over smart enough to bring this up I wondered!

“What the fuck dude, you don’t even know me! And what makes you say that?,” she demanded.

“I know you enough to say you are a lesbian. In this two hours of harassing lecture, you didn't even notice ‘any guys’; not even me,” I said, to which she rolled her eyes and looked amazed that I was tracking her eye movements. I continued, “You instead checked out some three girls sitting in front of you and couldn't take your eyes off one!”

     She looked around suddenly with a pensive look crossing her face (to my relief, it meant I might be right) and spoke softly yet firmly, “get over yourself, narcissist! Stop stalking me. I am not presumptuous and uncouth like you. Even you were noticing that guy who entered late. So, does that make you bisexual?”

“Whoa, two new words I learned today! So, you did notice me. Maybe, you are a bisexual after all,” I said with a smirk.

“Maybe,” she replied back with a smirk, making my conviction only stronger! We both started laughing; and that’s how our lifelong friendship started!

     I was hauled back to our class with a screeching bell to say the lecture was over. I let out a sigh of relief and packed my bag to rush to Azad Maidan where my ‘maybe’ lesbian friend was waiting for me!

-TO BE CONTINUED-